Wednesday, August 31, 2005 ;
8/31/2005 12:06:00 PM
I am losing my sense of direction and motive for my life.. what is it that I want to accomplish in life? The 'getting rich idea is good', nonetheless it is just one direction of my life and at the current moment I am just lost again, looking around to see where am I exactly at... might be the alcohol and 'teh peng' churning around in my body that's making me so disoriented...
You might be thinking kev here is going to come up with another lame analogy of his own again but not today.. today he is just damn lost about what he wants, what he should be focusing on...I guess all this while in my life, I'm more of a jack of all trades but master of none, never being able to set his mind to something and get in down, never pushed himself hard enough to attain something that might be a milestone in his life. I reflect back and think. All i can see are all the 'used to' but never being good at in..take for example, playing the drums, the sax, the guitar and the piano.. I know how to go about using the instrument but not to the level of being able to play it... I play bball, soccer, pool, badminton, tennis, table tennis, floorball, ulitmate frisbee, volleyball and whatever sports you might think of (except for sports on rollers or blades), i think I've tried but I've never been abe to push myself to the next level... I will always be the one who gives up when i reach my plateau and will always be contented with what i've achieved and let it slide again...
It is okay to slide i think but after sliding many times... you get tired and you give up, you start to grow old and get depress about it...Sometimes I really wonder what i should do with myself...sigh...
But at the moment.. i feel I should let it slide...cuz things will be tide over and will be back again... more focused than ever..
J'amore mon cherie
