I am losing my sense of direction and motive for my life.. what is it that I want to accomplish in life? The 'getting rich idea is good', nonetheless it is just one direction of my life and at the current moment I am just lost again, looking around to see where am I exactly at... might be the alcohol and 'teh peng' churning around in my body that's making me so disoriented...
You might be thinking kev here is going to come up with another lame analogy of his own again but not today.. today he is just damn lost about what he wants, what he should be focusing on...I guess all this while in my life, I'm more of a jack of all trades but master of none, never being able to set his mind to something and get in down, never pushed himself hard enough to attain something that might be a milestone in his life. I reflect back and think. All i can see are all the 'used to' but never being good at in..take for example, playing the drums, the sax, the guitar and the piano.. I know how to go about using the instrument but not to the level of being able to play it... I play bball, soccer, pool, badminton, tennis, table tennis, floorball, ulitmate frisbee, volleyball and whatever sports you might think of (except for sports on rollers or blades), i think I've tried but I've never been abe to push myself to the next level... I will always be the one who gives up when i reach my plateau and will always be contented with what i've achieved and let it slide again...
It is okay to slide i think but after sliding many times... you get tired and you give up, you start to grow old and get depress about it...Sometimes I really wonder what i should do with myself...sigh...
But at the moment.. i feel I should let it slide...cuz things will be tide over and will be back again... more focused than ever..



Hey, I was on the bus today with weijie after IF class. We were busy grading girls that got up to the second deck of the bus, when I felt that I was really being mean with my comments which I shall not go into details. Thus, I decided to say a prayer to ask God for forgiveness and cleanse my sins (Yes, I did go to church before).
Thus it struck me that I haven't said any prayers for about 4 years and that God must have been a very busy guy... Why you might have asked? Well, picture the Bruce Almighty scene where Jim Carrey had to check his mail everyday and there are zillions and zillions of mail to clear for every prayer being made. That includes mine just now. Poor guy right, having to do work like what a data entry clerk would do and get paid peanuts... No wonder, he has to have the twelve apostles to help out.. but guess some of them have decided to quit or retire. (last heard there are only 9 apostles left standing in Melbourne along the Great Ocean Road.)
Haha.. anyway, Weijie reminded me that the MAN has little angels helping him out with his data entry work... well he said LITTLE angels. They are LITTLE angels, you need like 26 angels for each letter and worst of all would be the angels on the "enter" and "delete" button. Must be damn shacked... guess the next on the list would be the "space bar" angel (hmmm... din know angels work in bars as well... I know Lame right)...
Oh ya, we even came up with our analogy of why Bill Gates is one of the richest man in this world. No.. it is not because he is satanic but the pure fact that he has created one of the best creations in the world. Microsoft Works. Without that, imagine the huge library God would have and the letters that he will receive everyday (He will be buried by the number of letter request, choosing the LEtter of the day would most prob pissed him off, even though he is such a nice guy) and also think about the numbers he will have to vet, approve and sign... his hands will ache lor... and by now if there was no Bill Gates, there will be no more apostles left... Our conclusion is that he deserve to be that rich...
Hmmm.. no offence to Christians, but you know you always hear some of them telling you about confessing your sins and you will be forgiven and they tell you that how many times you slide, just as long as you confess, you will be forgiven. well, imagine the scenario where you are in his shoes and you have a bugger that confess to you once a year (like weijie..haha...no offence to you too..=P) and maybe for the first few times you might forgive him, and being a super nice guy you allow him to confess and forgive him for 39 years.. which is like 39 times.. but damn wouldn't you be pissed off by the 40th time 'cuz every single year you would have to reset his SIN bin and there might be millions of them... That would be really 'fun' huh...so conclusion, do not sin that often and maybe limit your confessions to once every few years and do that consistently on the last few years of your life.. you might just get your one way ticket to heaven..dun screw it or it may become a two way ticket...
Haha.. and this reminds me about why the devil and God are always at loggerheads... the issues are that they might be from diverse backgrounds and they are not really that well versed in conflict resolution techniques such as putting others first.. For example, if everybody goes to heaven, God would be damn busy with admin and devil would be damn slack with nothing to do lor... thus most people that don't believe in God would have to go to hell, giving the devil some admin to settle lor. This most probably pissed the devil off, i mean who wouldn't? data entry is really 'sai kang' lor.. thus the feud starts. However, this could actually be prevented if they have tried negotiation and hire more help or go through mdeiation or arbitration but it seems they are the 2 biggest guys in their realm and there are no people who are qualified enough to mediate or arbitrate.. so really really bo bian...it will be never ending.

Guess there are some more things that we crap out but I just can't remember and we could have come up with more, if I hadn't need to get off the bus.. well, till next time and hope I hadn't offend anyone with this entry.... Cheers.

P/S: Hey 2 big bosses, hope you dun mind what i wrote ya..



On sunday, we were crushed and wrecked with an 8-1 trashing by SMU... moods were down, morale were low.. ON monday, I sent in my resignation letter and I get my counter proposal which is very much to my advantage... woo hoo... life seems to be better after a bad day... lalala... i just going bonkers at the moment..



Hi XXXX,

Can you please inform HR. Also, Kevin has agreed to continue performing some of his current work for us on a need-be basis (about 1 week in every month).

XXXX



Hi XXX,
Please accept this email as my formal notice of resignation from my position as a temp staff in StarHub Mobile. With this email, I hereby give two weeks' notice of my employment termination, effective on 26 August 2005. The associations I've made during my employment here will truly be memorable for years to come.
I hope a two-week notice is sufficient for you to find a replacement for me if you decide to retain this position. If I can help to train my replacement or recommend somebody to be my replacement, please let me know.
Thank you very much for the opportunity to work here.
Yours sincerely,
Kevin Guo



DAMN>>>> I know I've been saying this ... I am going to quit my job.. I'm going to quit my job... BUT F**K.. the lure of money is too tempting and the feeling that you are needed is too alluring... what to DO?? should I hand in my notice today so that I can get the hell out of my job, even though my job isn't that sucky.. it is actually rather cushy... or I should postpone yet again till the end of the month? the sian-ness of working against the lure of money... ARGHHHh!!!!!

*pissed*



Sigh.. it has been a spending month of July and August for me..think the total amount will be reaching $2000 soon if I carry on with this foolish spending spree...
Guess what I spent on... hmm let's see.. a Thai trip, a new adidas jacket, a PSP, many movies compared to my past months, many late night suppers, chill out sessions at cosy bay, taking the car out thus having to top up the tank, Fila clothings........
This has got to stop... which is what I told myself last week.. But I just threw it aside by going to pig out Haagen Daz, cutting my hair.. Actually the haricut only cost $22 bucks.. I stewpit lar, complain to the hairsylist that my hair too dry,so he did some stewpit treatment for me which is suppose to make my hair less dry...Guess what is the outcome? No difference at all..somemore made me put some stewpit bag over my head... ARHHhGHH...

NO more.. i shall going back to my thrifty ways and my healthy lifestyle like before.. mauahaha.. quit my job next week, start saving money, eat lesser, study harder and pia floorball, soccer, basketball, pool and gym... maybe i can add in swimming and cycling.. hahaha.. damn i should have taken PE or sports science as a career.. maybe even sports and wellness.... lalala... I'M a sports addict. hahaha....

but all Talk and no action makes KEvin a silly boy.. So hope this post will remind me what I set out to do and whoever reads this.. please remind me ...hahah

-OUt to meet neighbours- BYez



Hmmm.. sitting on the bus, on my way for IF class.. peering out at the moving scenery.. listening to the soothing voice of Corienne May when suddenly this stewpit analogy on r/s just pop into my head.. Actually it is 2 analogies but each sort of build on each other..
The 1st one was how people are when they face r/s. People are very much like bubbles or particles that are littered with doors and keys around them... Something like thorns like that.. and they will be floating around and bumping into other particles along the way.. and now and then, coincidentally one of this keys might be inserted into a door and if the keys fits.. the door is open to this particle. In the people context, a r/s is thus formed.. but then not all particles are the same, some with just doors, some with just keys, some with doors always closed and obviously there are ones with doors always open.. thus there are no one people who are entirely similar and thus there are people who are able to "one leg step on two boats" since there are more than one door....
At this point of time, you might feel what I am saying has no logic whatsoever... but then I am not one with no logic as my left brain started churning and a logical thought hit me as the image pictured by the analogy is too fantasy.... thus it evolved to a new analogy where people are actually very much like atoms or molecules. Some found in gases, some found in liquids and some found in solids. And if you do remember your science and chemistry, there are just some elements that do not interact with one another, they are the inert gases who will forever been alone. besides that, the other elements are quite reactive thus synergy could be formed. This, in human context, is when a r/s is formed... To add on to my analogy, it will also explains why some people are able to change gf/bf at an alarming rate, while some just stick to the one they met right from the beginning... In order to explain clearly, let me bring you back to your secondary school days, where the chemistry teacher was telling you that atoms or molecules in their solid state will vibrate or move in their position thus maintaining an object's shape and form, while atoms in a liquid will move around much faster, bumping here and there and of course, particles in a gas will move even faster and bump against other particles as the space given to it, gets smaller.. Therefore, someone who oftens changes partner can be seen like a particle in a gas where the time with another particle is so short and yet there is interaction going between both "interactin" particles...
Anyway, the rest will be up to your imagination as before I could carry on thinking.. I've reached my stop.. so till the next day dreaming session..

BYez...



YAWNZZ... guess I haven't been blogging much recently and I feel that I'm in the mood to do some serious blogging..(even though there is a floorball tournment tmr morning...=P)

I had been quite moody recently after the gathering with the marists guys cause everybody seems to have a plan of what they want to do.. I sort of have a plan as well but this plan is only for myself and it does not include a possible person in my life.. which sort of pose a dilemma for me.... so should I just remain a SINGLES player or a mixed DOUBLES player?

My plan of a SINGLES player is actually quite simple... Get a job after my degree, make careful and smart investments that will get me additional income with minimal effort, support my family and hopefully by 40, I will be rich enough to buy Cosy Bay or one of the condos at Pebble Bay without having to affect my daily lifestyle...

But this might be quite disrupted if there is an extra player... I mean my focus may have to be a bit skewed that way.. (It may sound as a lame excuse but to me, it is a big issue)

Besides that, I have been informed that I've been out for quite some time since I started looking for a mixed DOUBLES partner... the most recent one is in 2003... Look how time flies... so now comes the same question.. should I just remain as a SINGLES player or become a mixed DOUBLES player?

Hahaha.. but this is so lame right??? why would one be so frustrated with a issue that is supposed to happen so naturally in everybody's life? But sadly this is not the case because it takes 2 rackets to form a team and if one side does not intiate his interest, the chance of a new mixed DOUBLES team forming is close to zero....so what should one do when he has entirely lost faith in his confidence in being able to go after one that he has interest in forming a team with? Would it end up the same as it has back then?

If this is going to be the same ending as the previous time, I would rather be a SINGLES player.. why cause so much trouble of finding a partner to play mixed DOUBLES?

Then again, you will never know if you don't try... you might get lucky. To me, that's true in some sense however I have a knack for choosing the wrong partners and get rejected for the stupidest reason...
Example:
1. The target partner is a women DOUBLES player.
2. The target partner already has a mixed DOUBLES partner doesn't made know clearly about it as she is uncertain if that partnership will work out.
3. The target partner is ALREADY a mixed DOUBLES player.
4. The target partner has a verbal agreement to join you and completely forgets about it.

and the possible list go on....

WTF...!! I dun deserve this... I may not be the best SINGLES player around but I dun think I am that bad until I deserved to get thrown around like some plastic bag that can be recycled over and over again.. SHouldn't I deserve better? I should just F**ked it and lead my own sweet life, doing everything for myself only and most prob just feel a bit lonesome during certain festive days of the year....

I am really contradicting myself..... ARGHH...
think I am just tired.. I am going to get some shut eye and recollect my thoughts.. as you can see from what I've typed.. my thoughts are just so random and messed up.....

KEv
Feelings: Messed up
Listening to CORRIENE MAY

je suis kevin.
vingt-cinq, 270782
Aspiring millionaire
Montfortian, Marist, SRJCian, 46SAR, SIM, RMIT
Singtel, Haagen Daz,Starhub, IBM

Set your objectives and strive towards it
To all the wonderful things in life

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